thoughts and memories

Sinking and sinking
More and more deeply
To the depth of a sea
Sea of my thoughts
And ocean of my memories
It's just like
I'm not over thinking
I'm just started thinking the things
For the very first time
As I just left everything
Without thinking anything
And I found the thoughts
Splitting out intensely
Jumping to come out
From my heart and brain
The zip on my mouth
Is not working now
Since I opened it ones
And the overloaded thoughts
Are coming out like hell
Memories passing by my sight
In the form of bubbles
Making me smile sometime
Or leaving some regrets
Showing me everything
I kept locked in a grave
The things hard to believe
And harder to feel the pain
Thoughts and memories together
Hitting my mind with a bat
Persuading me to hate everything
And to love my own self
Some are loving vibes too
From the deep corner of my heart
From the one standing with me
On the phone calls of hours
I'm broken and lost
But happy too if you stare
When she called me
And told me how she cares
I'll erase my memories
And will kill my bad thoughts
Her loving words are enough
To fulfill my goals

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Depressed

Scared from everything Hiding behind air Running from everyone Lying like corpse Unconscious about every touch Can't feel any harm At the phase of this life I'm on devil's arms Ignored and swallowed eyes Tired from the world Teary and weak Exhausted and lost Waiting for demons Or poison, to be killed Having empty wish list Away from the love Away from myself Hating my own existence Screaming silently And waking up again from sleepless nights

but, until when?

Crying for hours Wiping the tears Alone in crowded room But, until when? Keeping mouth shut Tired of all rush Yelling for love But, until when? My tears can't heal The pain in my heart And the buried head But, until when? I need to stop But I want to run Loving just a blade or gun But, until when? Scared by separation Moaning your name And mourning on my died body But, Until when?

One more sleepless night

Yesterday, I decided to sleep early with my family. It’s been a long time we didn’t even talked properly. Finally, the conversation starts with talking about irrfan khan Mom : irrfan khan lied to her mother and became an actor. Dad : how brave he was, he used his talent and interest together. What you’ll do next sufiyana? I felt nice that at least we gonna talk seriously about my future which never goes straight. Me : I don’t have interest in biology, I believe I can do better with computer science.. Dad : so what will you do for it? Mom : you have a lot of calls about admission in universities and colleges and you just come to us and ask whether what should I do next Me : but I don’t know about anything now and wherever I search obviously they call and ask whether I wanna take admission or not. Mom : you can’t do anything, what you know is just using Facebook and that’s all. Me: mmmm…nothing. Mom : I guess, best thing is you should get married and and do whatever...

Pleasant Darkness (The Hidden Peace)

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