Pleasant Darkness (The Hidden Peace)

I'm displayed in a jar Like a portrayed picture Stuck inside these transplant walls Circular and unmovable Everyone moving around me And I'm at the center With the cap of jar closed And some holes for oxygen It's really hard to breathe And no one can hear my scream I'm scared and hungry I know nothing, what'll they do to me Where is my love, where is my family Where is all my people gone after leaving me How'll they fight and will i be rescued? From these weird huge creatures looking humanly

They all were together and happy Why I can't be there, with them? Am I an alien? Or something that looks so strange I had all body parts like them And i had feelings may be more than them But still my place was in dark A corner of my school's class I asked my parents, why i'm different? They answered, "you're precious" But do they throw precious things away? Is precious things do hurt everyone? That no one wants to hold my hand no one sits near me in lunch Do precious people can't effort to play To laugh and swing like others Is there no place for me? And the questions in my head bursts I'm not a child anymore I know i'm not precious, I'm dumb "No, you're not" i felt a voice in my ears It was mine I'm not dumb, I'm poor, tired lioness I can stand, I can laugh I can do what they can't And the journey starts Not to be like them, they're so cheap But to be better than them To make them crave to hold my han...

Away from all crowd And this selfish world My world is so small Just inside a dark room Where I can sit all day And can enjoy all night Though it's empty But I have my loved ones, My teddies, my diaries And my books all around It really disturbs me a lot, When anyone come in my nest. I want my room, my world To be only mine My dark little world

I wanna move around Wanna spread my wings And fly freely over sky I wanna see the world Away from all sorrow and sadness Wanna feel a little alive Wanna live a little more To see cute things live Away from all separations But, I'm plunged in crowd At the mid of brutes Enclosed by dirty hands all around They all were snatching me My hairs, clothes and skin Nipping the heart of mine I wanna run off from here To an untenanted place Away from all rabble I'm crawling to escape But slithering again and again And their hands killing me slowly

The head is sweating And scared is my voice The fear is in eyes And standing with a knife The hands are vibrating And heart is screaming Standing on the middle of road Who someone who is helping Clock stopped working And everything was movement less Heart doesn't seems to beat And blood is quite still There was nothing to bring And nor anything left to give The world is fully empty Just a bed, "death bed", I got as a gift

Keeping Everything in head Sinking Inside my bed Cheating To be glad Drinking The shake of blood Sewing The holes on heart Leaving Everything I had Screaming To get him back Dying  By cut on neck Remembering The old memories Fetching The hidden secrets Creating Some never ending thoughts Setting The pieces of heart

I was just trying Trying to smile Trying to fine And trying to keep myself happy  To write something which makes me happy To stay alive for a day or two And just took the pen from geometry box And opened my dearest diary What next?  Voices knocked my head Voices I never wanted to listen From the lightened room  That was really unpleasant to me Piercing my heart from my ears And what now? I got up and stood in front of mirror Watching myself with a fake smile Saying the fucking words "Happy birthday to me"

When the world says "Everything will be alright" And my heart shouts silently "I can't believe it can" The journey of being hopeless began When we got stuck somewhere And we know there is no one Literally no one to help us That could mean that we are travelling On the journey of being hopeless When we need someone  To heal our pain But we don't ask anyone And we know, no one is here with us We might be at the middle of that journey When we don't believe anyone Neither our luck, nor the lord And we lost hope Even on unexpected things  The journey of being hopeless is about to end When we bear all pain Without letting anyone know Dying from inside And find no place to go The journey of being hopeless ends Ends with empty hands And empty brain Having no thoughts or blames And free of arguments The journey of being hopeless ends

When you keep calling me lucky  And I know from what I'm going through When voices on my brain keep teasing me About where I'm and what I'm gonna do You keep Calling me lucky Cause there is someone to feed me But I know the pain Pain of being tied in street My hands are bounded And I'm unable to breath I'm trapped in the set of rules Which keeps killing me as hell Watching others flying happily Being kept in cage I screamed and cried But found no way to fly with craze When everyone enjoys the day Having fun in cars It pains me more Being sitting at the corner of a jar You keep Calling me lucky But I'm the most "unlucky" one I'm trying hard to leave everything But I'm bounded by the chain of commands The chain of rules Rules of the devilish owner I found me lost when I see myself in mirror While watching the butterflies playing with the guard Keeping all the pain And sufferings on the heart I squeaked with all my strength And got free from the d...

Waking up with bad dreams And sleeping with a spiritual thing When I look at anywhere What I can see is just a shadowy human being Sometimes he comes closer to me As he gonna enter inside me and sometimes he kicks me like I'm just a stone near his feet When I open my eyes I found him holding my hand I scream and cry But no one even can listen my voice I Want always to run But he pierces my legs by his gun A gun I can't even see But I always start to bleed No one can see my scars And the blood on my neck and blonde I just scream inside my head And they all take me as weak by mental strength I try to run away Away from the bloody soul But he grabs me like If I'm always his bitcy doll