yes, I'm standing now

They all were together and happy
Why I can't be there, with them?
Am I an alien?
Or something that looks so strange
I had all body parts like them
And i had feelings may be more than them
But still my place was in dark
A corner of my school's class
I asked my parents, why i'm different?
They answered, "you're precious"
But do they throw precious things away?
Is precious things do hurt everyone?
That no one wants to hold my hand
no one sits near me in lunch
Do precious people can't effort to play
To laugh and swing like others
Is there no place for me?
And the questions in my head bursts
I'm not a child anymore
I know i'm not precious, I'm dumb
"No, you're not" i felt a voice in my ears
It was mine
I'm not dumb, I'm poor, tired lioness
I can stand, I can laugh
I can do what they can't
And the journey starts
Not to be like them, they're so cheap
But to be better than them
To make them crave to hold my hands
Who wanted me to lay down on sand
Yes, I'm standing now

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Depressed

Scared from everything Hiding behind air Running from everyone Lying like corpse Unconscious about every touch Can't feel any harm At the phase of this life I'm on devil's arms Ignored and swallowed eyes Tired from the world Teary and weak Exhausted and lost Waiting for demons Or poison, to be killed Having empty wish list Away from the love Away from myself Hating my own existence Screaming silently And waking up again from sleepless nights

but, until when?

Crying for hours Wiping the tears Alone in crowded room But, until when? Keeping mouth shut Tired of all rush Yelling for love But, until when? My tears can't heal The pain in my heart And the buried head But, until when? I need to stop But I want to run Loving just a blade or gun But, until when? Scared by separation Moaning your name And mourning on my died body But, Until when?

One more sleepless night

Yesterday, I decided to sleep early with my family. It’s been a long time we didn’t even talked properly. Finally, the conversation starts with talking about irrfan khan Mom : irrfan khan lied to her mother and became an actor. Dad : how brave he was, he used his talent and interest together. What you’ll do next sufiyana? I felt nice that at least we gonna talk seriously about my future which never goes straight. Me : I don’t have interest in biology, I believe I can do better with computer science.. Dad : so what will you do for it? Mom : you have a lot of calls about admission in universities and colleges and you just come to us and ask whether what should I do next Me : but I don’t know about anything now and wherever I search obviously they call and ask whether I wanna take admission or not. Mom : you can’t do anything, what you know is just using Facebook and that’s all. Me: mmmm…nothing. Mom : I guess, best thing is you should get married and and do whatever...

Pleasant Darkness (The Hidden Peace)

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