Pleasant Darkness (The Hidden Peace)

It's been a year I diagnosed cancer The life have been changed And thoughts are growing wider When I meet people I think it might be last meeting And when I go out I feel like I may never come back I'm dying of watching My people crying But I'm helpless and hopeless To wipe their tears It's third stage of cancer now And I wanna give everything u have But my parents and friends They are even more scared than me I'm feeling extreme pain of separation And their eyes, always wet I'm touching and keenly watching everything Like it's my last day, last night or last moment

I know you are a liar Cause I feel you're burning without fire Keeping all your secrets along He was trying to fly And you? Waiting for his reply Move on girl, it's not been so long He is running away from you And you? Still standing with flowers few It's really not the place you belong He is dancing and enjoying in trains Leaving you all alone with your pains Oh girl, don't listen to this sad song I must say for god sake, that you're wrong To survive here, you have to be more strong

We ran we faught We lived on roads We cried we laughed But unfortunately,  We were growing old. You promised me you'll never go I promised I'll never leave But situation made us apart But love, it can't go Our souls are still connected by it's thread Our bodies were away From even our shadows But you know that tree? We decided to meet after life On the shade of that That two large close trees Making shape of a big heart Like kissing each other From their stems like tongue That heart shows our love We had been lost In the greed and thoughts Of the shitty world But now, we're again together In the arms of each other You remembered that moment? When we were just teens Our kisses and hugs Endless secret meetings I'm missing that all, our innocence. You are the only boy I love I wanted to give my heart But we died so young I don't really have one We are just skeletons After years we met again Our promises took us close You took my hand and Kissed me s

There might be millions of people Thousands in my city And hundreds in my own family But when I think about love It's my grandma who pops up Grandma, sea of knowledge Galaxy of experience Computer with perfect ideas And solution of every little problem I wonder how someone can be so perfect When everyone shout at me Scold me for no reason It's only she, who jumps up And hug me tightly She might be only one I love The only one, who tell me stories And tell me about her ancient life With whom I can share everything She is 75 but looks so alive by heart She makes me luckiest, I admire her. I love my grandma more than even my mom and dad, actually more than everyone I have. And may be I can say she might be only one who love me. ❤

Physically I'm in my room sitting on my wooden bed silently but mentally, where I'm? inside a dark blank room a jail without door tied on the darkest corner  with sharp thorny ropes unable to move even a little cause I'm hanged on the top with keen iron nails piercing my hand, legs and throat i can't even speak by my own if i did, even if tried I'll sleep helplessly on bed of knife and forks hopeless and movement less Alone, depressed and lost watching and listening everything crawling to run or die on floor

"Oh my girl, what happened with you? Who did this to you? Tell me my love" Her mother yelled suprisingly After watching a knife in her stomach She moved to her more closely To hug her or to save her lately And suddenly the girl opened her eyes The eyeballs were missing  And that was just blank black space  Her mother screamed  And started moving the steps back And just after some moments Horrible men came from walls Having holes in place of eyes Just alive skeletons wearing black coat Stood behind her And said "who are your friends, Lil girl"  The girl, the loving little daughter Turned to them, started staring at them Staring at the men without eyes They took her hands Her mother was so scared That even she lost her consciousness Than slowly and momentarily They all started to disappear One by one body parts They all were totally lost inside darkness And her body was there is room With same knife and same white frock Lying dead on the floor

Honestly, I'm writing something Just to remember that I decorated a thing Not actually a thing  But it's my best friend, my diary I pasted some fabric strips Near the opening corner With pasting two buttons Made by rolling smooth stones In a soft brownish cloth And pasted a same button Just a little bigger On the left middle side of diary And at last,  I took a black wide fabric lace And hooked it on that buttons And here's my decorated diary Is ready to expose Though not that much nice But still I love it so much I named it as sufiyana

I wanna move around Wanna spread my wings And fly freely over sky I wanna see the world Away from all sorrow and sadness Wanna feel a little alive Wanna live a little more To see cute things live Away from all separations But, I'm plunged in crowd At the mid of brutes Enclosed by dirty hands all around They all were snatching me My hairs, clothes and skin Nipping the heart of mine I wanna run off from here To an untenanted place Away from all rabble I'm crawling to escape But slithering again and again And their hands killing me slowly

I don't know from whom I was unable to see him Buy my hands, my body could feel Someone's presence around me I may should get scared But I was smiling, When he kissed my cheeks It was just like, Someone came to you, And took all your sadness And just got disappeared  Next day, I opened that almirah And found a letter Saying that, "I hope you'll be happy I'll never leave you  Even after your death Be there right next to the mirror At sharp 3 AM" And a strange love began

The world is sleeping And there's nothing to do No one is staying with me And no one calling my name Something from the table Staring at me secretly Like wanting me to take itself With the pen beside it I took it in my hands Opened it and turned pages slowly It smiled like thanking me And loving me like no one ever did I opened the cap of the pen And the ink started flowing On the beautiful white papers Leaving stains of this poem The poem is about to end And see, it's 3 AM It's time to say goodbye Because no one knows, If it's my last night.

While going to another room I see a mirror in my way It have same height as mine Deep enough to cover my whole bed It asks me deeds of my day And how I'm doing nowadays It loves me too when I love myself And show awkward expressions when I won't When I do something good The girl inside it smiles cutely And when I do bad The girl hides her self behind shame Sometimes I get scared by her When she do creepy things And when she stares at me I feel horrible or shy Once the girl came in my dream Dream? Not at all It was a strange nightmare Creepy enough to scare my soul The girl was looking same as me Lying out there on the terrace Dying and screaming by pain Injured, tired, exhausted and lost somewhere I woke up when she died And ran to that mirror The girl was standing inside it With injured body as hell I started avoiding her I never seen her back I never ever wanted to Even started running away from her I get scared at nights, and feel like She'll come back at any

She was just walking out Searching for a better place  All alone with her pets Finding somewhere the real peace Suddenly she heard the voices Coming from the bluish sky  Harsh as thunders It was lightning, she spy "Oh no! What's this now?" Soil is all around her It's a large tornado  Occupying everything she had Everything was blurring lately And it was raining hard Cats and dogs and her umbrella Blew away towards the sky "What the hell is this? " She murmured with shocked eyes Dogs and cats and her umbrella Strangely flying over her head

Crying for hours Wiping the tears Alone in crowded room But, until when? Keeping mouth shut Tired of all rush Yelling for love But, until when? My tears can't heal The pain in my heart And the buried head But, until when? I need to stop But I want to run Loving just a blade or gun But, until when? Scared by separation Moaning your name And mourning on my died body But, Until when?

Tired and exhausted After a long day Frustrated by seniors A man in Red shirt Opened the door And suddenly a dog Barked Came and hugged him Like he was waiting from decades The man kicked that dog And pushed him away Like a human with lack of humanity He untied his leather belt With a dirty expression And the dog ran away Hiding himself behind the bed The man came close And started beating him Home fulfilled by painful sound And the man gone to bed  Leaving the dog alone With injured feet The night was so long  With endless darkness And with first ray of sun The man yelled Watching a snake on the bed "Oh gosh! I'm alive, Who saved me?" He jumped out from bed And found the dog lying on floor Totally injured and waiting to die A loyal friend was dying In front of his eyes He realised everything But it was so late No more time left to apologise What now? Lately, the dog died Leaving regret in inhuman owner's heart But blessed all other dogs By making him real