DEAR PARENTS...- pleasant darkness

Dear parents, 

    I know I did a mistake, which can't be undone again and I know I was wrong may be. I was wrong according to you because our thoughts never meet. I was wrong because my thoughts are of modern society and I understand you can't get me and I won't blame you for it. Yes, According to you, I did a mistake! But, was it really a mistake? I regret that I can't tell you anything, I have nothing to tell you because I know you can't understand me. I know I can't explain myself to you, I know my words are not enough to prove me right in front of you, I'm lose and you won. 

Dear Mom, do you know everyone have a lot of friends and they all text each other, tag each other and have a lot of fun. Even, my all class is using social media it's not a bad thing. It was not a mistake but the mistake was you believed that unknown people, and that relatives more than me. It was really not a mistake if you really could understand me.
Do you remember? When you say me that "if you're really shameless you must die." I really tried to die mom. I don't want to live. I wanna ask you to kill me. But, still I can't say it to you. I can't share my feelings with you though I want. I can't even share my pain to anyone else because I know you're not same as I'm feeling right now. You care a lot for me, you love me, you stands with me, you have a big heart but I can't understand you. I want you to show your love. I want to make you happy always, I never did anything wrong intensionally, I never wanted to make you sad. And now, there is no option rather than my death to make you free from the tensions and pain I give you. Mom, sorry. I know you care for me, but I'm doing this because I care for you too. I can't see you hating me.
Sorry, I love you.