Pleasant Darkness (The Hidden Peace)

They all were together and happy Why I can't be there, with them? Am I an alien? Or something that looks so strange I had all body parts like them And i had feelings may be more than them But still my place was in dark A corner of my school's class I asked my parents, why i'm different? They answered, "you're precious" But do they throw precious things away? Is precious things do hurt everyone? That no one wants to hold my hand no one sits near me in lunch Do precious people can't effort to play To laugh and swing like others Is there no place for me? And the questions in my head bursts I'm not a child anymore I know i'm not precious, I'm dumb "No, you're not" i felt a voice in my ears It was mine I'm not dumb, I'm poor, tired lioness I can stand, I can laugh I can do what they can't And the journey starts Not to be like them, they're so cheap But to be better than them To make them crave to hold my han...

When the quietness covers the world And sound of gossips stop After closing the eyelids When the world fall asleep The blankness under my eyes Start to change it's colour It turns to blurry black Everything seems just real But the blur and dark background Tells me it's a dream Or it might be a nightmare I never seen morning Nor I found the moon of night ever That black background Is what I have in my heart Some natural things And some shadowy creatures Everything is blurry Like a black faded colour The blurry black background

Everyone were around me I was taking my last breath And some shadowy people arrived To pick me up with them I was yelling "they are arrived, On horses with weapons" They were waiting for my death The blankness was overcoming my head It was terrible, scaring as hell My people were screaming Saying "No one is here, just relax" But my body was vibrating And i was horribly obsessed They were getting blurry And the sounds of their horses, Were coming more and more closer And my eyes got closed forever With the appearance of that people With deadly horses

A girl was kidnapped By a strange looking man Grabbed by ropes Stored in a plastic bag Her body was cold And frozen was her mind She tried to move But got stuck in huge ice When the ice got melted She was on fire Drops of fluxed iron Shielded around, destroying all her desires Now she was machinery With wires all around Controlled by that freak And millions creepy sounds Helpless like a bird Whose wings are broken Lying down on knees Dying just unspoken

I was a little child When that elder ones Were beating a kind man I tried to stop them But my dad said "Shhh.. they are your elders" I was of 12 When my elder schoolmates Were irritating an innocent girl I told to my teachers And they said "Shhh..don't tell anyone" For their school's reputation I was of 15 When my grandpa did something I was angry on him And stepped forward to fight But my mom stopped me saying, "Shhh.. respect your elders, go and apolozise" I was of 17 When a relative touched me I raised my voice again And everyone said "Keep shame in your eyes, they are elders Whatever they do is alright" Now, when everyone using me Killing me hardly from inside How will I break the silence When I know my voice will left unheard Cause they think I'm lying Since they're elders, and Me? Am I a child? It doesn't mean that anyone who is elder than you is doing everything perfect, WRONG means wrong no matter if it...

I just want you to know The situation I'm going through But I don't wanna speak a word I don't have courage to say "NO" And I don't wanna see you in sorrow I hope you know what I felt I wanted to see you happy But for me, it's more creepy And my heart, it's just melt and melt You know what I love and hate But I still think my body is a bait And I'm tied tightly with a leather belt It's not what I used to expect But I'm afraid if I must really accept

The deep long messages And cute little talks The care from heart And love from soul Do you think I can hate it? Long drives and bike rides Hugs kisses to heal every pain How can anyone don't want it? Someone standing with you When you lost everything And someone smiling more than you Watching your happy eyes Why can't I need it? Yes I love it too But something is scaring me Pushing me away from love Away from everything I want And that's what I call THE END A life like a dream But what if you woke up? And found nothing left In your locked room What when you'll crave? To get everything back That your happy heart had But it's just memories you might have What when these sweet talks And deep long messages Will start flowing into tears Now, I can hate it I can't want it anymore I imagined the love I heard love stories I know the pain behind it And I got the fear

I entered to a strange restaurant Decorated like a museum Bones and teeth were hanging And body parts looking unreal While waiting for the waiter I seen a blonde in red Seems like she is coming to me With two hot fresh cups of blood She stopped near me And asked me for company It's like dream came true As I wanted this in whole journey She served me something Deep red drink of blood I was shocked totally But I guessed it might be rum She took that cup To have a long sip I was still watching her Surprisingly with my large eyes And boom! Here's her vampire teeth And red eyes looking at me I was getting hypnotized To her bloody dark lips She took a bite on my neck Pouring the blood to that cup I started getting sleepy Or maybe everything getting blurred When I woke up it was all dark And I was surrounded by skeletons Guess I'm the newest one Waiting to be a skeleton like them

It's mid of night, see 3 AM Someone knocked my door And said "let's play a game" My heart was burning On the fireless flame And my mouth was shut Keeping everyone's blame For the sins I never claimed Someone whispered on my ears "Shhh... It's a secret" I jumped inside my blanket No reason left to regret Two eyes were blinking Oh! It's my puppet But wait, whose hand is this? And the blood on my carpet My bed is drowning In the dark horror climax Down and down I'm sinking In large hole on my floor Echo of my screams And "shh..." is what I'm listening My dead injured body Is the only thing I'm thinking At the right, it was blood So I ran to left side I tried hard to run I even tried to hide It was getting dark and darker Like if I'm really blind But with my pain and wounds I needed to fight I took a knife to kill that thing Tried to act brave this time I inserted the knife on it's centre And suddenly felt fo...

It's not been a long time Since I took birth From a little egg With my brothers and sisters I don't know what's going on It's so strange world When I born,  I was surrounded totally By other robotic creatures I found them same as me My elders asked me To walk with them In a single straight line Like school children And I brought to monsters An another large world We all could see monsters Walking over us Many of us were killed I thought I'm so big But I found everyone bigger I can't see even their faces Except when they lying on floor Their steps are earthquakes, I'm getting habitual with And the smell of chemical My relatives release At the time of danger I see myself everywhere Since we all are same And we all live together  But watching my mom is rare She is only queen  With big beautiful wings And my dad is useless Sitting all day free It's the life of a tiny ant

She was just walking Cause she had no brain She was fucking insane To accept the truth And get scared or hide herself She was so innocent To understand the danger Or may be enough brave To walk alone on roads Her mistake was just one That she only wanted To set herself free From this restricted world She wanted to taste The deep love of empty,  Pleasant darkness She never thought,  Never even imagined That most horrible animal Beasts in face of humans.  Her happiness was on peak As she had almost Reached to clouds But suddenly,  A dirty rough hand Grabbed her mouth from back And pulled her dignity down Into to real darkness Her happiness was disappeared And her teary eyes,  They were yelling for help.  She was screaming hardly,  With her closed mouth.  But, no one was there to listen And a harsh hand, Groped her wrist Pushed her badly To the Thorny shrubs But the pain of thorns was nothing In front of the pain and fear Inside her jumpi...

Away from all crowd And this selfish world My world is so small Just inside a dark room Where I can sit all day And can enjoy all night Though it's empty But I have my loved ones, My teddies, my diaries And my books all around It really disturbs me a lot, When anyone come in my nest. I want my room, my world To be only mine My dark little world

We may call him old Or may be the one, Who always bore. But, When he hear voice of helicopter He still runs out Like a small excited child Keeping a childish heart inside He might say "Don't do stupid things" But when he start his bike He always says "Wow, what a smell" It awakens the child inside him His most cute side He might order sometimes And may be shout at times But he is the only one Who was standing beside you Who used to play with you Who took your hand When you had no friend He is my father But still, he steal sweets with me And we keep each other's secrets Still, he behaves like He is my best friend Keeping a cute lovely heart Inside his small world Yes, he is childish as me He acts cute like a child He still do childish things He is my best friend He is best father  And I might say My father is a child (by heart)

It was a blank room There was nothing inside it Just strange kinda human beings Weirdest and horrible looking men There was something at the centre Exactly at the mid of room I was sitting on that My hairs were open and scattered I was looking down on floor And screaming like hell All people surrounded me Staring at me without any movement I looked everyone  Trying to remember their faces But I remembered nothing It was a blank empty room With so much crowd around me Watching me getting mad And suddenly I woke up again I was seven or eight years old something I started to visit that place everyday Going there and watching same faces Same me with scattered hairs And than waking up again Every night, twice or thrice It was the place  Of my worst nightmare The blank crowded room

Everything is abnormal But abnormal is nothing I'm normal But normal is fake I'm fake But the thing that is not normal Is nothing, doesn't even exist But I do I have to act normal I have to act fake And that's abnormal But "I'M NORMAL" Not really I have to tell my mind I have to fit it in my brain " I'M NORMAL " But I'm tired of it I'm unable To do normal things But if I couldn't How will I live? I'm dying But " I'M NORMAL " Shut up heart " I'M NORMAL " Keep quiet And laugh Fake is NORMAL Am I fake? And is it alright?

It's been a year I diagnosed cancer The life have been changed And thoughts are growing wider When I meet people I think it might be last meeting And when I go out I feel like I may never come back I'm dying of watching My people crying But I'm helpless and hopeless To wipe their tears It's third stage of cancer now And I wanna give everything u have But my parents and friends They are even more scared than me I'm feeling extreme pain of separation And their eyes, always wet I'm touching and keenly watching everything Like it's my last day, last night or last moment

I know you are a liar Cause I feel you're burning without fire Keeping all your secrets along He was trying to fly And you? Waiting for his reply Move on girl, it's not been so long He is running away from you And you? Still standing with flowers few It's really not the place you belong He is dancing and enjoying in trains Leaving you all alone with your pains Oh girl, don't listen to this sad song I must say for god sake, that you're wrong To survive here, you have to be more strong

We ran we faught We lived on roads We cried we laughed But unfortunately,  We were growing old. You promised me you'll never go I promised I'll never leave But situation made us apart But love, it can't go Our souls are still connected by it's thread Our bodies were away From even our shadows But you know that tree? We decided to meet after life On the shade of that That two large close trees Making shape of a big heart Like kissing each other From their stems like tongue That heart shows our love We had been lost In the greed and thoughts Of the shitty world But now, we're again together In the arms of each other You remembered that moment? When we were just teens Our kisses and hugs Endless secret meetings I'm missing that all, our innocence. You are the only boy I love I wanted to give my heart But we died so young I don't really have one We are just skeletons After years we met again Our promises took us close You took my hand and Kissed me s...

There might be millions of people Thousands in my city And hundreds in my own family But when I think about love It's my grandma who pops up Grandma, sea of knowledge Galaxy of experience Computer with perfect ideas And solution of every little problem I wonder how someone can be so perfect When everyone shout at me Scold me for no reason It's only she, who jumps up And hug me tightly She might be only one I love The only one, who tell me stories And tell me about her ancient life With whom I can share everything She is 75 but looks so alive by heart She makes me luckiest, I admire her. I love my grandma more than even my mom and dad, actually more than everyone I have. And may be I can say she might be only one who love me. ❤

Physically I'm in my room sitting on my wooden bed silently but mentally, where I'm? inside a dark blank room a jail without door tied on the darkest corner  with sharp thorny ropes unable to move even a little cause I'm hanged on the top with keen iron nails piercing my hand, legs and throat i can't even speak by my own if i did, even if tried I'll sleep helplessly on bed of knife and forks hopeless and movement less Alone, depressed and lost watching and listening everything crawling to run or die on floor

"Oh my girl, what happened with you? Who did this to you? Tell me my love" Her mother yelled suprisingly After watching a knife in her stomach She moved to her more closely To hug her or to save her lately And suddenly the girl opened her eyes The eyeballs were missing  And that was just blank black space  Her mother screamed  And started moving the steps back And just after some moments Horrible men came from walls Having holes in place of eyes Just alive skeletons wearing black coat Stood behind her And said "who are your friends, Lil girl"  The girl, the loving little daughter Turned to them, started staring at them Staring at the men without eyes They took her hands Her mother was so scared That even she lost her consciousness Than slowly and momentarily They all started to disappear One by one body parts They all were totally lost inside darkness And her body was there is room With same knife and same white frock Lying dead on the floor

Honestly, I'm writing something Just to remember that I decorated a thing Not actually a thing  But it's my best friend, my diary I pasted some fabric strips Near the opening corner With pasting two buttons Made by rolling smooth stones In a soft brownish cloth And pasted a same button Just a little bigger On the left middle side of diary And at last,  I took a black wide fabric lace And hooked it on that buttons And here's my decorated diary Is ready to expose Though not that much nice But still I love it so much I named it as sufiyana

I wanna move around Wanna spread my wings And fly freely over sky I wanna see the world Away from all sorrow and sadness Wanna feel a little alive Wanna live a little more To see cute things live Away from all separations But, I'm plunged in crowd At the mid of brutes Enclosed by dirty hands all around They all were snatching me My hairs, clothes and skin Nipping the heart of mine I wanna run off from here To an untenanted place Away from all rabble I'm crawling to escape But slithering again and again And their hands killing me slowly

I don't know from whom I was unable to see him Buy my hands, my body could feel Someone's presence around me I may should get scared But I was smiling, When he kissed my cheeks It was just like, Someone came to you, And took all your sadness And just got disappeared  Next day, I opened that almirah And found a letter Saying that, "I hope you'll be happy I'll never leave you  Even after your death Be there right next to the mirror At sharp 3 AM" And a strange love began

The world is sleeping And there's nothing to do No one is staying with me And no one calling my name Something from the table Staring at me secretly Like wanting me to take itself With the pen beside it I took it in my hands Opened it and turned pages slowly It smiled like thanking me And loving me like no one ever did I opened the cap of the pen And the ink started flowing On the beautiful white papers Leaving stains of this poem The poem is about to end And see, it's 3 AM It's time to say goodbye Because no one knows, If it's my last night.

While going to another room I see a mirror in my way It have same height as mine Deep enough to cover my whole bed It asks me deeds of my day And how I'm doing nowadays It loves me too when I love myself And show awkward expressions when I won't When I do something good The girl inside it smiles cutely And when I do bad The girl hides her self behind shame Sometimes I get scared by her When she do creepy things And when she stares at me I feel horrible or shy Once the girl came in my dream Dream? Not at all It was a strange nightmare Creepy enough to scare my soul The girl was looking same as me Lying out there on the terrace Dying and screaming by pain Injured, tired, exhausted and lost somewhere I woke up when she died And ran to that mirror The girl was standing inside it With injured body as hell I started avoiding her I never seen her back I never ever wanted to Even started running away from her I get scared at nights, and feel like She'll come back at any...

She was just walking out Searching for a better place  All alone with her pets Finding somewhere the real peace Suddenly she heard the voices Coming from the bluish sky  Harsh as thunders It was lightning, she spy "Oh no! What's this now?" Soil is all around her It's a large tornado  Occupying everything she had Everything was blurring lately And it was raining hard Cats and dogs and her umbrella Blew away towards the sky "What the hell is this? " She murmured with shocked eyes Dogs and cats and her umbrella Strangely flying over her head

Crying for hours Wiping the tears Alone in crowded room But, until when? Keeping mouth shut Tired of all rush Yelling for love But, until when? My tears can't heal The pain in my heart And the buried head But, until when? I need to stop But I want to run Loving just a blade or gun But, until when? Scared by separation Moaning your name And mourning on my died body But, Until when?

Tired and exhausted After a long day Frustrated by seniors A man in Red shirt Opened the door And suddenly a dog Barked Came and hugged him Like he was waiting from decades The man kicked that dog And pushed him away Like a human with lack of humanity He untied his leather belt With a dirty expression And the dog ran away Hiding himself behind the bed The man came close And started beating him Home fulfilled by painful sound And the man gone to bed  Leaving the dog alone With injured feet The night was so long  With endless darkness And with first ray of sun The man yelled Watching a snake on the bed "Oh gosh! I'm alive, Who saved me?" He jumped out from bed And found the dog lying on floor Totally injured and waiting to die A loyal friend was dying In front of his eyes He realised everything But it was so late No more time left to apologise What now? Lately, the dog died Leaving regret in inhuman owner's heart But blessed all other dogs By making him real...

Do I really love him? I'm questioning myself Why I'm unable, To do the things he like? If I love him Why can't I accept his way? Our love is not same Why can't he make me realize That he love me. Is it really love? Or buried lust in our eyes I'm tired of my thoughts About what really happening  If I love him, Why it's killing me? If I'll stop, I'll be the murderer of myself My own soul. Do I really love him? I'm questioning myself I'm deeply burning By the lust inside us But is it really lust? Or untold love between us The unsaid words Or an undefined way to love

We lived together,  Loved each other,  Connected our soul,  And been together. Danced with our soul,  Smiled with our heart,  Shared our secrets,  And felt every touch.  It's time to cry,  To stop our hearts,  To keep everything kept,  Inside the heart deep.  A misunderstanding,  A time to sacrifice,  A time to leave the love,  And time to say goodbye came.  Our paths disconnected,  And heart got broken And then, "You went your way And i went mine"

Am I that much bad? That my eyes can't even get happiness? What wrong I did? That I got separated from my friends Is I did that big mistakes? That everyone are blaming me Without even searching my secrets Had I been that cruel? I may hurt some people May be by telling the truth But is I'm that bad? That everyone run to Pierce my soul Am I that much bad? Have I did any big mistake? That my head pushed to hell And tears trying to cover the wounds Is my face is that much dirty? Or dirty is my soul? Why can't I live normal Why I don't deserve the love at all?

The wind stopped flowing And leafs are just still Chirping voice of birds Sounds like they're mourning Looking at the door Standing next to your chair I'm just waiting and waiting For you, to care My veins have your voices And heart is filled with memories Tears in deep inside my eyes And on my sight, your face keep blurring When I woke up from sleepless nights And looked beside, to see thy Remembering that hurtful misery Asking god again and again, "why?" Everything I eat, seems as poison It pains like I'm burning alive All alone, without your presence I'm lost, lost interest in life Starring at your movement less picture Taking it and hugging once again "Oh Darling! I know your last words, But I can't hide my pain" Fragrance of you, in every part of m Trying to feel your presence Because you told me twice That you'll be alive in my heart The wind started blowing And tears are just soaked May be you're watching me and yelling...

The childish little faces And naughty heart of you Your irritating touch And blushing cheeks of mine Remember the game? The tangled finger fights The endless talks And your childish stories When you used to speak and speak  And I just had your cuteness in my mind Remember the game? Our finger fights When you touched me And I said "what?" You just replied innocently "What I did?" With a smile You remember the game? The tangled finger fights I was really a child When we were playing When you irritated me And I thought it's a joke lame Remember the game? When you hold my hand I started falling and falling More and more over your smile I wanted you with me always So I just stopped and smiled Remember the game? The tangled finger fights I began to stalk you And started waiting for your smile I was really fallen in love Ignoring all sexual attractions The game of love The tangled fingers of ours I kept waiting To sit near you To see your happy face To be t...

You and me will hold hands forever Every single moment, second and whatever I love your face when I see your eyes shy We'll create a beautiful new life Full of enjoy and I planned world tour at least five I want to see you always fly I look into your eyes and then suddenly smile You seems like a diamond on my bed when you lie And me, I'm the happiest bird on peak of sky I yelled your name and knocked your door As I seen you from window, you were lying on floor I can't believe, no! You can't die Now, I'm spending my life on endless lies I'm coming to you there, I trapped in never ending sky https://medium.com/born-in-africa-gammo-style-of-english-poetry/born-in-africa-gammo-style-of-english-poetry-writing-5d729201155c

I have craziness Hidden deep inside me For the people I love And admire whose deeds I act so wild sometimes When someone hurt my Besties But I keep quiet always When something happens with me I love it so much If someone make me smile But I'll be even more happier If the happiness is gifted by me I do apologize always Leaving all attitude Cause I have forgiving nature And I'm scared of losing my dudes Sometimes I feel I'm brutal When I think of flesh, meat and blood And some hilarious criminals But I know I can't do that I ignore everything Whatever I don't like Never ask anyone to stop Or to be anyone's or mine I hate relationships As they all are fake at all Children, lovers, enemies They seems just like loads I always mess up things And I'm the nasty one I hate to touch water But sand is my soul I have helping nature And I can't ever say 'No' But if I'm not interested in someone I won't pay attention at all I'm innocent...

Sinking and sinking More and more deeply To the depth of a sea Sea of my thoughts And ocean of my memories It's just like I'm not over thinking I'm just started thinking the things For the very first time  As I just left everything Without thinking anything And I found the thoughts Splitting out intensely Jumping to come out From my heart and brain The zip on my mouth Is not working now Since I opened it ones And the overloaded thoughts  Are coming out like hell Memories passing by my sight In the form of bubbles Making me smile sometime Or leaving some regrets Showing me everything I kept locked in a grave  The things hard to believe And harder to feel the pain Thoughts and memories together Hitting my mind with a bat Persuading me to hate everything And to love my own self Some are loving vibes too From the deep corner of my heart From the one standing with me On the phone calls of hours I'm broken and lost But happy too if you stare  When she called me...

Sometimes unknown ones And sometimes the one I loved most Sometimes it's from my own family And sometimes I don't even know Everyone I met Every time They just want this body I'm wearing on my soul They grab it like It's a non living thing And eat it  As they're hungry from years For them, I'm a piece of flesh In the sea of monsters Am I ? A piece of food Since the very first I born And till I'll die A living large Burger That everyone tasted Sometimes I haven't knew, The game I used to hate And sometimes they forced me To be their horny bait And where I end up Thinking that there's a mistake In my own self? No. I never knew anything That was paining me And getting to know all this At the point when I understand It's the real pain That I was grabbed and eaten Not by an animal But by the horny human beings Humans that I never knew  And humans whom I loved most The real mistake is In the hearts that god made In the man's fucking bra...

When the dawn was hidden And dusk was on the peak When dogs were yelling And peopled were sick Was there something? That wasn't quick A slowly moving thing In hostel's last wing Should we move? Or should wait to see it What was that Having strange voices And undefined name Or it's just a machine Or a controllable game Is it miraculous? Or a wizard doing this What about that? The sleeping fish It was still sounding like A war has begin Should we go to see? Or keep away from it A wand is moving Is a witch doing this? When dawn was hidden  And dusk was on peak